Blog

Dear Spectrum,

Dear Spectrum,

Dear Spectrum, I absolutely love the feature you offer through your app that allows me to turn off Wi-Fi access for my...

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Higher and Higher
I submitted this piece to the San Marcos Daily Record last week for their submission deadline, hoping to get into the Sunday paper because today is the Anniversary of Rusty Windle's death. I thought that maybe they were saving it to run tomorrow--the second...

Easing into a Writing Routine, Again

This whole "I want to focus more on my writing" thing has me all blocked and finding all kinds of stuff to do that ain't writing. Last Sunday, I told the social media that I'm going to bring back my Sunday blog. Yet, here I am. Watching the sunset over the...

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I can’t NOT say Something!

I can’t not say something. The Cape’s Dam argument is absolute bullshit. There--I said it-- B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T! I can’t say things like that at city hall where they have rules about how I can talk about things. And I can’t say it in the paper, where they have rules about...

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Putting it out there

There's so much behind that phrase--puttin' it out there--that I got to thinking about all the meanings behind it. Most people, I think will usually conjure a mental image of a sexually liberated/slutty person or someone showing a lot of skin or whatever. They're...

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Polish Cannibal Mermaid Musical Porn

(& other brain candy I saw at The Lost River Film Fest) Y'all. Y'ALL!!! I seriously saw one of the weirdest movies I ever did see during this year's Lost River Film Fest. Full disclosure: Cinema Club provided me with a press pass this year (and last year), so I'm...

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Isn’t that cute?

The following blog is transcribed from my little black book that I carry around with me to write my thoughts. Almost all of my blogs are transcribed from this book, but this is the first time I'm acknowledging my process to you, the readers. Last night, I was sitting...

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This is Forty

I’m writing, and that’s what’s important. I have put it off and put it off and put it off, and the thing that plagues me incessantly is that I just don’t write enough. I absolutely LOVE writing, and I truly feel as though I will be unfulfilled as a person until I...

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If the shoe fits…

I woke up in Philadelphia the other morning. I awoke in a bedroom where my friend, Cecilia, gave birth to her sweet daughter, Zella. I felt all the strong energy and warm love surrounding me with gooey vibes of positivity, and I puffed up my breast with all that...

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Check, Check, Nope…fail, Check

DID YOU EVEN NOTICE THAT I MISSED LAST WEEK? I didn't write a blog at all, and no one noticed or said anything if they did notice. I failed in my first month of my New Year's Resolution to write my blog each week. I failed on the first day of the lunar new year. And...

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#WhyIMarch

I’m still coming down from my protest high and really thinking about how crazy it is that these winds...they are a changin’! Here in Texas, the winds are almost 50mph today. Speaking of windy… I met Wendy Davis yesterday! #brag #butsrsly I’ve been talking about...

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Mom-Sucking Virus

I remember this old commercial where a whole family gets sick but they’re quickly healed when Mom saves them all with the magic of Robitussin. Mom has the kids as well as dad waiting in the hallway and calls them each into a bedroom one-by-one as she says “Neeeext”...

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Warning: This Post is “Gay”

I’m listening to Casey Kasem’s American Top 40 Year-End Countdown (Part 2 of the Top 100 hits of 1987) as I ride in the car alongside my boyfriend while he drives us to Enchanted Rock on this gorgeous Sunday morning. Number 26 is playing, and seventeen-year-old Debbie...

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This Little Blight o’ Mine

Okay. It's 10:54 pm on Jan 1, 2017, and I am just STARTING my first blog post in honor of my New Year's Resolution to create more content and publish a weekly blog each Sunday. My goal is to actually have it written by Friday to allow time to edit the dang thing and...

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Dear Facebook, REALLY?!!?!

I'm becoming accustomed to the way it works, Facebook. When I try to check the app on my iPhone and am suddenly forced to login, I know there's a fun little judgement from the Facebook gods waiting for me on the other side of that login button. I've been dealing with...

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Dude! I’m Not a Bro, Man!

I wore a helmet for Mardi Gras this year in New Orleans. It was an idea that sparked while walking through my friend’s yard when I spotted her daughter’s helmet lying on the ground. It had a built-in pony face with a tiara, and I thought it would be the perfect safety...

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The Laundry List

It’s been a minute since I’ve written a Martian Mommy column—almost three weeks, I believe. The fact is that it is no one’s fault but my own, but I still have a laundry list of excuses. What’s the saying? How does it go? Excuses are like starfish…if you throw one...

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I Heart Comedy

Holy cow! April is *maybe* the best month for comedy in all of central Texas—maybe even in all of the Magnited States of America. It’s the height of the Funniest Person in Austin contest with more than 200 people competing, and if you haven’t gone to an FPIA show, you...

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Weed Always Remember

This week has been a cosmically crazy week. We had the lunar eclipse, which was also a special “bloodmoon” that brought forth feelings of excitement and optimism about new beginnings. At least, this is how I felt about the bloodmoon. I had a conversation with a friend...

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Cosmic Connections

NOTE: This was a rewrite of the "Weed Always Remember" post because my editor was highly offended about the bible paper smoking. This week has been a cosmically crazy week. We had the lunar eclipse, which was also a special “bloodmoon” that brought forth feelings of...

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River Yoga

It’s time to start getting in shape for swimsuit season, and there’s no better way than my proven workout routine called Floating Solo*. This workout is excellent for people that have few friends, are comfortable being alone, and aren’t looking for actual results....

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Chasing the Dream

I’m not sure when I realized that being a mom meant that I’d probably never get a full night of sleep for the next couple of decades, but now I am acutely aware of that fact. Many parents can empathize with the awfulness that is a baby’s sleep/eat/poop schedule (about...

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What are “THE RULES”?

Tying together a few of the pieces I have written for Love Hays and bringing those ideas full-circle, I decided on a non-dairy tattoo. As much as I love cheese, I really can’t think of a great way to have it tattooed on my body. So, I went with the next best...

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San Marcos Rocks!

I snap chatted a video of San Martians jumping up and down, synchronously waving their arms, and uproariously shouting “I love rock n roll” facilitated by The Spazmatics. That video of this energetic amoeba-like crowd was my second favorite snap chat I’ve ever sent....

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The Momsters are Coming!

I’m usually super calm and collected about large-scale events and ambitious projects, but I think I might be having a panic attack. Seriously, ouch! Chest pains! I just finished a conference call with two incredible comics, Kristine Levine and Jessa Reed, regarding...

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South by Staycation

When I was in college, I spent 4 spring breaks down in South Padre Island, and I loved each and every one of those bikini-clad-beer-bong-on-the-beach adventures. As a single mom with an actively engaged father, I currently enjoy the benefit of alternating spring...

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Never-ending Story

I slept in my son’s bed last night. Not because he was afraid from a bad dream in the middle of the night and not because we fell asleep reading. He wasn’t even home. I’d like to say I slept in his bed because I was missing the boys and wanted to feel closer to them...

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Super, Super Cheesy

Like all cool moms (wink, wink), I have a truly incredible tattoo. I have a few other ones that are not so incredible, but they are the tattoos that I earned. My first inking occurred in Mexico during my senior class trip. A daisy on my toe, it looked more like a...

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Let’s Talk About the Dark Side

I was sitting at the breakfast table with my kids, and we were discussing how much my kindergartener hates school and thinks his teacher doesn’t like him. As much as I wanted to rant about the problems with our educational system and NCLB and standardized testing and...

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Get your SELFIE in San Marcos

I decided to challenge myself with making a short film for the AirBnb Shorts contest. This wise use of my time and energy was probably based on the fact that I am clearly not busy enough. Or slightly crazy. But with a $7,000 prize package including an all-expense paid...

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What’s A Real Man?

I was walking my kid home from preschool, and while we were strolling down the sidewalk, we had to get out of the way of an unsteady and teetering cyclist who would have knocked straight into us if we didn’t move. His shirt read “Men’s Choir. Real men sing.” I guess...

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Why Mommy Drinks

The weather is amazing, and margaritas are delicious. Someone complimented my hair today, and I deserved to celebrate. The school bus picks up at 6:45 am. I’m on a boat! Book club. I’m about to start my period. While eating lunch at Bobcat Nation, that guy at the bar...

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Bubble Girl

Happy New Year! Twenty fourteen. Yeah. Woo! Wooooooo! I made a bunch of resolutions (as I do every year), but mine are not usually about being something but more about doing something. Among my list of those super ambitious and well-thought-out things that I am going...

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We Did It!

I spent a little too much time with my family this holiday season. Family has a three-day maximum threshold. You guys, that really is in the rule book, and we should treat it as a commandment. Much like Vegas, time with family should be a 3-day/2-night or a...

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