I absolutely love the feature you offer through your app that allows me to turn off Wi-Fi access for my boys’ devices.
It’s Magic!
Right now, my teenage children are standing together, conversing, and laughing as they work as a team to wash all the dishes in the sink. And boy are there a lot of dishes to wash! I’ve been cooking their meals and preparing their snacks all weekend. I even made Tik-Tok while serving them pizza!
Well, Spectrum, your app with the magical powers kicked-in right at bedtime, and the very first thing they did was start washing the dishes—
They’re hoping I’ll turn the Wi-Fi back on when they wash them all. What incredible initiative! Thanks, Spectrum.

But, never mind my hypocrisy, Spectrum. The point is that my dishes are getting done right now, and I have you to thank for it. It’s almost like YOU are actually doing my dishes, Spectrum! If it weren’t for your app, I wouldn’t be able to stop my boys from over-using the internet.
I mean, yes, I could simply turn the modem and router off, but then I couldn’t over-use the internet while my dishes are being done!

Oop, now they broke a bowl!
That’s okay, at least it’s a real bowl and not one of those virtual bowls on the Oculus right now. You helped make this happen, Spectrum. Thanks for doing my dishes. I’ll give ‘em a little extra interweb tomorrow. Oh, can I have my introductory rate back? XOXO,