I’m usually super calm and collected about large-scale events and ambitious projects, but I think I might be having a panic attack. Seriously, ouch! Chest pains!

I just finished a conference call with two incredible comics, Kristine Levine and Jessa Reed, regarding our upcoming comedy tour. THAT’S RIGHT! I’m going on tour, you guys! I’ll be joining the Momsters of Comedy Tour, travelling across the southwest region of the United States from June 6 – July 5, 2014.

Holy cow! And if that weren’t exciting enough, the first stop on the tour is San Marcos, Texas. SAN MARCOS!!!!

Oh, did I mention that we’re filming it as a documentary? I can barely contain myself, and I really wanted to share the excitement with our wonderful Love Hays readers.

So, who are the momsters, and what does that even mean? “Momsters” are hip, tattooed, irreverent, sex-positive mothers who care for their children with an alternative, holistic approach to parenting, often frowned upon by modern day June Cleaver clones. They do not shield their kids from life’s disappointments but rather encourage them to learn from life’s hurts. This will be a documentary tale of touring comedian momsters and life on the road with their kids—That’s Right! We’re bringing our kids on the bus with us!

Kristine’s son, age 16, my two monkeys, ages 5 and 6, and Jessa’s daughters, ages 19, 4, and 1, will all be along for the adventure. We’ll also have a nanny to watch the kids while we perform and do promotional work, but it’s going to be an incredible journey that we’ll be able to share with our beloved offspring. The film/tour will bring big laughs to 21 cities: San Marcos, Houston, New Orleans, Jackson, Little Rock, Tulsa, Wichita, Denver, Salt Lake City, Boise, Portland, Eugene, Ashland, Sacramento, Los Angeles, San Diego, Phoenix, Tucson, Las Cruces, Fort Stockton, and Austin. #momsterscomedy

We’ll need a lot of help (food, free use of vacation homes, gas, money, beverages, band-aids) and support (interns, promotions, audience members), but we are going to survive this high-intensity real-world Motherhood of the Travelling Rants. In addition to family drama that is bound to happen in many of the cities on the road, we’ll be getting Momsters of Comedy Tour tattoos on LA Ink. We might even let our largest kickstarter donors decide on the tattoos. It’s going to be great! In the meantime, please save the date for June 6 when the tour will be right here in San Marvelous.

Kelly Stone is a sexual health educator and college lecturer who likes to think of her stand-up comedy as “edutainment”. She began performing in 2006 at an open mic in Philadelphia and has been hooked on comedy ever since. She hosts the monthly Hot Mess Comedy Show at Bar 141 in San Marcos, speaks to various universities on many different topics, watches Project Runway, and is still trying to figure out how to keep her boys from smearing Greek yogurt on the furniture.

Follow her on twitter: @funnykelly or help stop her kids when they are trying to run across a busy street. There’s safety in numbers.

Show Dates:

Tuesdays, Geeks Who Drink Pub Quiz, 8:00 pm, Tap Room, Free

Wednesday, March 19, San Marcos Game Night, 8:30 pm, Triple Crown, Free

Friday, March, 28, Hot Mess Comedy Show, 8:30 pm, Bar 141, $5

Wednesday, April 2, San Marcos Game Night, 8:30 pm, Triple Crown, Free